saya:
- abis jatuh dari tangga, kejatuhan vas bunga dan basah kuyup
- kesakitan di bagian enkel
- lagi gak berduit
- lagi depresi karena gak berduit
- lagi sebel sama temen di kerjaan
- abis ditanya pertanyaan yg bikin saya terkejut bukan kepalang
- mikir buat jawaban atas pertanyaan tadi
- bete karena gak bisa nemu jawaban yang bagus
- pingin libur
- lagi pingin ngerasain punya pacar buat sehari aja

orang2 di sekitar saya:
- lagi bekerja
- lagi makan
- lagi dengerin lagu
- hepi2 aja biarpun mereka lagi stres juga

kesimpulan:
hari ini hari yang sucks buat saya lahir maupun batin. tapi saya masih berusaha tetap positif dan berharap nanti malam insomnia nggak kambuh

sore hari yang kelabu.. duduk di kantor, bengong sambil dengerin The Mills Brother "you always hurt the one you love"
ah, gimana ya. banyak yang pingin diceritain, tapi nggak bisa. Kalo udah gini rasanya bete banget, so many stories to tell but I just couldnt find the right expression.

The 2nd day of december, 23 days to go before Christmas. Ah, Christmas and New Year always make me mellow and sad. Its just probably the image that people create, having wonderful time with family and nothing else matters. The fun, the crowds, and most of all the hope. Somehow I never had any good experience with Christmas nor New Year. It always sucks and this year will be the same I afraid.

The parties that you should go to...aarghh... just mentioning it makes me depressed. You know, the kind of parties where you meet the others for just once a year but you act like you miss them and hugs and kisses. Bah.. so fake and I hate it so much. But it seems to me that everybody likes it or are they faking as well?? Is it just me being an asociaal or is there any good reason of hating it?

Talking about hate, I also hate people who always so cheerful, so damn nice to everyone, so damn perky, try to be the perfect lady in front of everyone eyes. I said lady, coz men usually dont even bother to do this, they just be themselves. But yeah, that kind of people makes me wanna puke. and trust me, you gonna meet lotsa them in those parties.

The winter is hereeeeeee... The past 5 years, I was ok with it. But this year is just particularly hard for me. The cold, the dim light of the future, and not to mention the less and less friends I got. They all go back with probably an excessive emotional baggage, but at least they go back to their families.. Man.. I would give a million to see my family here and really have a good time.

Sigh... At least I got one project ready to spend my lonely days and nights here in Amsterdam. No actually two.. One, go watch movies as much as possible and bake cakes.. heavenly cakes... Ah ya, enough for today. Got to do something useful before I go.