February, month of stories

lots of things happened this month
so many that i couldn't even remember it one by one
but let's give it a shot, shall we?
first thing first, i'm officially a student again
a grad student to be precise

hoooraayy for me...
i also figured out what i want to be
the feeling that you finally know who you want to be
can't even describe it in words
i want to be: a scientist

i remember when i was a child, my mom asked me many times
darling, what do you want to be in the future?
i remember i couldn't answer it directly like any other kids would
and when i finally gave my answer
i know, already, that's not what i want
so, trust me, it's such a relieve
one particular word that i've been looking for all these years

but now, a pessimistic as i always am
start asking and doubting
what if....
can not do this
fail to do that
not my real me

funny thing though
as if God knows my questions
many things came up and appeared
as if to show me this is right
i will wait and see if that is so
(just realize, i shouldn't only wait, i have to do)

next event, please
alrighty

four years had i spent
failed to loving or caring
for anyone special
feared that i couldn't love
feared that i am dead inside
finally......

a man
passion for what he does
intelligence to know what he wants
know when to make me laugh
trigger the butterflies in my stomach to fly

quoting Bobby Darin
why must i be a teenager in love?
blush whenever he's around
talking nonsense
can't even look him in the eye

be in love is wonderful
be in love is a gift
hangin' there
cherish it
let it blossom